


I just wanna be somebody to you

by salvatorestjohn



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Blood and Violence, Canon Compliant, Episode: s05e08 Spoiler Alert!, F/M, Fix-It, Heavy Angst, Love Confessions, Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) is Bad at Feelings, Stabbing, like actual spoilers though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:55:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26054575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salvatorestjohn/pseuds/salvatorestjohn
Summary: “And I am sorry—” Lucifer forces Maze to lower one of the blades, and presses the tip of it into the left side of his chest “—that I said you were just a demon! I’m the one who was wrong!”Maze’s expression is flickering between fury and confusion, her eyes darting down to their hands and her blade clasped between them. “What are you doing?”“Because you are not just a demon, Maze!” Lucifer pushes the blade to tear the fabric of his shirt, which it does with ease. Maze’s lips part, eyes widening, but he presses on before she can speak, “You are the most important person I have ever had in my entire life, and I am sorry that I ever made you think otherwise.”“Lucifer,” Maze says, but her tone is one of alarm now, and he feels her slight resistance when he presses the demon blade further, letting the tip pierce an inch of the skin over his heart.
Relationships: Mazikeen/Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 108





	I just wanna be somebody to you

“He’s only been honest with me!”

A sharp _whoosh_ cuts the air, and Lucifer pulls back to just narrowly avoid the demon blade cutting his face as well. He deflects the swing with a blow to her wrist, but she’s already swinging again with her other arm. Stumbling back, he can only stare at her in bewilderment. 

She takes a moment to regain her breath, but her glare stays fixed on him, furious and stinging. The fact that it’s Maze trying to kill him is what stings more.

“You… You hid my mother from me!” Maze accuses.

Lucifer’s stomach lurches. His eyes widen, frowning as he starts to say, “How did you—”

His breath catches, but it’s knocked out of him as Maze throws herself at him. Throwing an arm up, he deflects another swing, then she’s going for the low-blow. Literally. He pulls back to avoid being gutted. Catching her wrist before she can swing again, he quickly stops the other one from sinking a blade into his leg, locking her arms over each other.

Then he yanks her up to face him, her arms held tightly against his chest. A dangerous position to be in, he faintly acknowledges. The tips of her blades so close on either side of his face that he can feel the burning hot metal. 

She growls, and he’s reminded of so many years of fury, of that seething look she’d give to the people she was torturing for fun. It’s nowhere near this. It’s pure anger, and resentment, and incredible pain. She never looked this human in hell. 

“I’m sorry, Maze, but I made a promise to Lilith!” Lucifer tries to reason.

“Which is apparently more important to you than I am!” Her eyes are bright again, but because they’re shining with tears. Her voice cracks with the flood of them rather than let them break through.

His heart drops, his eyebrows drawing together.

“What?” he breathes in disbelief. 

There’s a shout from Amenadiel—or maybe Michael—but it’s enough to divide his attention for a split second, as something goes flying across the room—one of his brothers. Someone’s losing, but either way, he knows he needs to help Amenadiel. 

Maze catches him off-guard. Or maybe she’s just stronger—he’s never been able to tell, she’s always been able to match him in a fight, and he’s always liked it best that way. But now, he doesn’t want to fight. Not with Maze.

His briefly distracted state allows her to break his hold and all of his attention is back on her. Taking a step back, Lucifer barely has a second, noticing Maze swinging her blades in her hand to get a better grip. Then she’s launching herself at him again. 

Dodging and deflecting her blades is easy enough, but the kick to his gut throws him off-balance. It does little else to him yet something about it still aches within his ribs. Perhaps Maze’s boot broke one.

“Mazikeen, wait!” Lucifer shouts, holding his hands up as he backs away from her—yes, like a bloody coward, he’ll admit it, because he refuses to fight back—but Maze just follows, swinging her blade again. 

She slices at the air. He knocks the blow with his arm. Ducks the other blade. Parries blow after blow, backing up the entire time. 

“Will you just bloody listen to me!” 

She manages to kick his leg out from under him. Take that as a no then. He quickly rolls to the left and pushes back onto his feet as Maze sinks a blade right into the spot where his chest had just been. 

Maze is just as fast. She spins around, arm already launching behind her. Lucifer’s frustration builds as he’s forced to deflect again, with a twist to her elbow this time, and his own elbow thrown at her wrist, knocking the blade from her hand. 

There’s a crash from somewhere behind them, and Amenadiel and Michael arguing, taunting one another. Neither Lucifer nor Maze pay them any mind.

Maze pulls herself from his grip once again, hurrying to retrieve her blade from the ground.

Taking the opportunity, Lucifer, breathing hard, says, “Maze, I understand why you’re angry at me, but if you’d let me explain, let me tell you why I—”

“I don’t want—” Maze lunges for his leg, he jumps back, then she springs to her feet, twisting around and trying to slice his carotid artery, but misses, only to sink her knee into his stomach instead, “—to hear your excuses!”

“Then at least—” Another knee to his stomach, and Lucifer manages to twist out of the way before she can continue to bruise his internal system, “—let me tell you how incredibly wrong you are!”

Maze scoffs. “ _ I’m _ wrong? Yeah, sure, because I’m just a soulless demon, so of course I’m wrong! Lilith left me, she broke and abandoned me, and called it strength! Is this what being strong is, Lucifer?! Is that how you see me?!  _ Wrong _ ? Just a demon?!”

Hell should envy the fire blazing in the surface of her eyes, and the heat in her voice that would make any human quake in their skin. Hell should be grieving the loss of its greatest demon, because Lucifer certainly did when he—

It dawns on him in that second he has to think clearly. 

“Oh,” he says softly, in a breath that he’s surprised he can manage with the ache in his ribs. Maze really must have broken something. “Oh, Maze, no! I never—”

Maze isn’t listening. By the battle cry she lets out and the way she aims for his throat, he’s got a feeling she doesn’t want to, either. But he is now.

_Whoosh_. A blade slices inches from his ear. The other is already aiming to make him and Michael identical once more. His hand goes up, and the curve slices right across his palm. He doesn’t care. He grabs the blade, squeezing tight. Surprise flashes across Maze’s face. Lucifer uses it; he yanks her forward by his grip on the blade, and does the same when she tries to go for his stomach. 

“You weren’t wrong,” Lucifer quickly says before she can pull free again. 

Both blades cut into the palms of his hands. The burn from the hell-made steel is just as powerful as he remembers from the agony of his wings being cut off. Gritting his teeth, he squeezes tighter, focusing on Maze’s eyes that are wide and confused as they dart from one hand to the other.

“I’m listening now,” Lucifer continues, nodding, ignoring the fight still going on behind him. “I know I wasn’t before, but I can hear what you’re saying, Maze, and I am sorry!”

“You think a measly apology is going to fix everything?” Maze hisses, lifting her glare back up to meet his face. 

Lucifer shakes his head. “No, I know it won’t. But I  _ am _ sorry. For not telling you about Lilith—”

The name stirs the already boiling over pot inside of Maze. She tries to pull one of her blades free of his grip, but it only cuts deeper through his skin as he holds on tighter. 

“I’m sorry that I kept such an important piece of your life from you,” Lucifer raises his voice to be heard over the crashing and breaking and shouting, “sorry that I never realized how much not knowing hurt you!”

“Stop. TALKING!” Maze screams. Her eyes are shining so much that Lucifer can almost see himself reflected back in the tears that she won’t let fall. Because she has to be strong.

“And I am sorry—” Lucifer forces Maze to lower one of the blades, and presses the tip of it into the left side of his chest “—that I said you were just a demon! I’m the one who was wrong!”

Maze’s expression is flickering between fury and confusion, her eyes darting down to their hands and her blade clasped between them. “What are you doing?”

“Because you are not just a demon, Maze!” Lucifer pushes the blade to tear the fabric of his shirt, which it does with ease. Maze’s lips part, eyes widening, but he presses on before she can speak, “You are the most important person I have ever had in my entire life, and I am sorry that I ever made you think otherwise.”

“Lucifer,” Maze says, but her tone is one of alarm now, and he feels her slight resistance when he presses the demon blade further, letting the tip pierce an inch of the skin over his heart. 

“Mazikeen!” Lucifer responds, shaking her other wrist slightly, bringing her attention back to his face. “You are more important to me than any promise!"

“You say that, but you still kept the truth from me.” Maze’s voice is quieter, breaking, but still furious as she shakes her head. She’s the one to push the blade this time, another inch or so, the underside of his skin set alight. “You abandoned me! Again! And you don’t even get why it hurts so much that you just left me!”

Lucifer swallows, both the pain and the lump forming in his throat. Tears are finally escaping Maze’s hold on them. She just looks from one of his eyes to the other, her lips pressing into a tight, quivering line.

“But I understand now, Mazikeen,” Lucifer says. “I do! I should never have left you like that! I regretted it every day for thousands of years in Hell, because you should have been there with me. Not as a servant or because you had to be, but because I just—I just wanted to be with you! And I’m sorry that I didn’t at least give you the option to come with me or say goodbye if that’s what you had chosen.”

Maze’s jaw tightens, clenching. He can feel her hand shaking beneath his, making the tip of the blade twist inside of him. The aching in his ribs has grown a pulse. It occurs to him that it’s his heart and not a broken rib.

“Why?” Maze asks, a bitterness to her voice. “I’m just a demon, after all.”

Lucifer scoffs. “You are so much more than that! I should have realized that sooner! And, this nonsense about you not being able to love or feel because you’re soulless? You may not have a literal soul, Maze, but you love and feel as deeply as any human I have met, even if you don’t express it the same way.”

“STOP! I can’t, we both know it’s impossible without a real soul, and Michael can give me that!”

The blade pushes deeper. Lucifer groans, but he nods, not making an attempt to stop her.

“If this is what you feel you need to do, then do it, Maze,” he forces through his teeth, steadying her hand. “But Michael can’t give you what you want, and he won’t even if he can find a way! He doesn’t care about you, he’s just manipulating you!”

“What, like you care about me?” Maze spits out, acidic sarcasm biting at Lucifer’s wound and, admittedly, that aching pulse beneath his ribs. 

“Bloody hell, Maze, of course I care about you!” Lucifer says. “Look at me! I said I’m sorry about not telling you about Lilith, but you truly are more important to me than some promise! More important any human, demon, angel or thing in the entire universe, all right? Maze, I love you!”

The words knock the wind right out of him, so much so that for a moment he thinks she’s given him another good kick to the chest for even daring to say something like that to her. But Maze has frozen. Her expression included, staring up at him wide-eyed with tears still slowly making tracks down her cheeks, looking at a complete loss for… anything. Words. Actions. He would think that removing the blade from his chest would be a good first thing to do, but he figures that’s a thought best left unspoken.

And he’s kind of reeling a bit himself. He’s sure his expression is a somewhat mirror of Maze’s.

“You…” Maze draws in a shaking breath, pulling back slightly, “...you’ve never said that before. Not—not to me, anyway.”

Lucifer swallows, and there’s this thrumming in his ears. His own heartbeat? Blood pulsing around his body like he’s… he’s…  _ human _ ?

“Not to anyone, really,” Lucifer admits quietly, and frowns as he does. Because just minutes ago, he couldn’t for the life of him get the words to leave his mouth, no matter how hard he tried, with Chloe standing there in front of him. He couldn’t do it, even though he knows it’s what she wanted to hear.

Maze doesn’t seem to have really heard him. The most acknowledgement she gives if she does is a quiet, “huh” and a light nod. Her eyes won’t leave his, and he’ll admit, he’s not sure he wants them to. 

“You don’t lie…” Maze mutters, almost as if to herself only. 

When Lucifer shakes his head, he sees her throat bob slightly as she swallows, lifts her chin, as if steeling herself for the inevitable comedown.

Grabbing the moment while he has it, before it can be turned back on its head by Michael, who he can hear still struggling with Amenadiel behind him, Lucifer grasps both blades tighter.

“I love you, Mazikeen,” he repeats, firmly, sure, more certain than he has been of anything. “Not because you were my most loyal servant, or my fiercest warrior, or because you became the only person I could rely on when even my own family turned their backs on me… but because you’re you. Soulless and all. I love you in a way that… confuses and slightly terrifies me, if I’m honest, but I know for certain that I have never loved someone as I love you. And I will do whatever it takes to prove that to you.”

He hears the catch in Maze’s breath. She doesn’t seem to care about stopping the tears anymore. Her lips part again, as if to speak, but nothing comes out, her bottom lip quivering. Sadness and guilt run through him for doing this to her. For helping bring her to this point. And anger at Michael for manipulating her. To a point where she’s terrified of being abandoned again. Of never being loved or never being able to love.

Squaring his jaw, Lucifer puts pressure on her hand with the blade in his chest. It sinks further, searing his skin as it does, a marching band of blood in his ears. 

Maze’s shock wears off quickly, alarm returning as she realizes what he’s doing. 

“No,” she says, and he can’t get the blade to go any further. He feels it sliding back out of him, just as painful as it was going in. He doesn’t resist, and the relief that comes (even if with a bloody irritating sting) when the blade is out of his chest completely and he’s let go of the other lets him breathe a little easier. 

Still, like an idiot and against his better judgment, he frowns at her, and asks, “I thought this is what you wanted? To make me suffer?”

Maze looks at him for a moment that feels fairly inappropriate considering the fighting still going on behind them, but Lucifer lets it sit all the same. 

“I wanted you to listen, and for me to be able to…” she shakes her head, “...to feel like a human. I would never want to see someone that I love suffer.”

Lucifer’s heart jumps. He doesn’t mind it so much this time. “Someone that you love?”

Maze gives him another look, and he understands this one perfectly. He’s known, for years. Centuries, millennia, really. He figured it was more of a loyal servant-master kind of thing. But Maze isn’t a servant, and she’s not just a demon. 

“Perhaps you have more of a soul than you think,” Lucifer says softly, a small smile curling one corner of his mouth.

It’s returned by Maze, albeit with some reluctance. She was, after all, just trying to kill him, and he has a feeling that not all of her hostility towards him has been vanquished quite that easily. But her eyes dart over his shoulder at the sound of glass breaking, and when they move back to Lucifer, they say, _ you can wait _ .

“Speaking of suffering.” She steps back from Lucifer, swinging her blades, a dark glint returning to her eyes, but this one very familiar and one he associates with a whole lot of joy. For them. “Hey, Michael!”

Lucifer grins, a laugh escaping him as he turns around. Michael’s pulling himself up from the ground. Amenadiel looks over at them with an exasperated expression, apparently already sussing that Maze is back on their side. 

“A little help?” he asks, but even he can’t disguise the dark look in his own eyes. 

“Oh, we’d love to,” Lucifer answers.

He squares his shoulders, and a second later, his wings fill twenty feet of space on either side of him. Maze smirks, practically bouncing on her heels, her blades looking particularly ready to carve up an archangel. By the time Michael’s back on his feet and facing the three of them, he’s realized what’s happened, and Amenadiel is ready, wings and all as well. 

Sighing, Michael cracks his neck, shaking off some glass. Then he pops his own wings, and sneers, “Fine. Let’s do this, then.”

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished watching the new episodes of Lucifer and I am GONE. I definitely need a while to recover, my god, that was a lot to process. But as soon as I finished the last episode, I knew I had to write this because during Lucifer and Maze's entire fight, I was just imagining him saying, "of course you're important to me, Maze, I love you!" And it could even, with my shipper goggles, have been an "oh..." moment of realization because he was struggling to say it to Chloe and said it was complicated, but it was so EASY to say it so Maze, but not in like the family or close friend kind of way. All of that to say that these new 8 episodes just made me ship them more and this is one of the products of that! God (literally, what a plot twist), the next half of the season is going to utterly destroy me.


End file.
